ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
