we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
