What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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