Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
