these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
