turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Terrible idea I love it
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
