I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize