You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
