I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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