Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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