I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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