I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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