I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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