if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
