I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
