I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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