So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
