I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
