8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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