Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
