Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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