At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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