Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
