so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize