Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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