Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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