this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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