which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
It's official drugs can't kill me
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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