and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
