I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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