"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
