He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
