Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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