"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
