he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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