If that was your dad, he is hot
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
