I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
