You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
