then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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