Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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