I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
There's always time for handjobs
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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