Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Terrible idea I love it
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
