and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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