Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
