His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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