We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Randomize
