What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
