No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
