i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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