I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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