I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Randomize
