there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Even my vagina gasped.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
