if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
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