I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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