We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
