Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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