after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Houston, we have a blender
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I currently don't understand fingers.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
that is very illegal...i love you.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
