I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize
