i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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