in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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