I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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