Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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