is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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