Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
i've created a new STD.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
